Hoboken Bingo- Fun for the whole family!

On your next trip to Hoboken to buy Mozzarell, visit your cousin Joey, or for Hoboken St. Patty’s Day, see how many you can spot. First one to get 5 in a row wins. Just kidding, if you’re in New Jersey you’re already a winner.

Sketchy Plane Ride Guy

I normally never talk to my seat partner on a plane.  I consider them annoying but mainly invisible road blocks to my comfort.  However, on my recent flight to Jacksonville, my well-dressed middle-age window-seat companion thanked me for passing his diet Coke to the stewardess.   When he opened his mouth, I thought he was gay, which is the only reason I started talking to him.

We chitchatted pleasantly for a while about his travels to India before he dropped the ex-wife bomb.  WHAA?!  Ex-wife?  I curiously asked what happened, and he said it didn’t work out because they have differences in how they think their daughters should be raised.  WHAAA??!!!  Daughters?  Plural?!  I work at a theater for chrissake, I have excellent gaydar.  Then he tells me how he coreographed the dancing for his daugher’s Bollywood talent show.

I tell him about my bf and what a great relationship we have.  Then he drops a second bomb:

He asks me if I want to know a secret about men.

He says: “All men like to be dominated.”

And that’s when I crawled out of my skin and the elderly woman next to me choked on her apple juice.  Thank you, Continental Airlines, for the most awkward plane ride of my life.

Moment of Beauty

Three small children walked up to the area near the tennis courts, where Matt and I were waiting to play. The park’s sprinkler showers were on, and the mist was refreshing. The smallest child, maybe 3, started to run through the water with the biggest, happiest smile on his face.  It was wonderful to be able to witness the pure essence of joy in a happy child playing in the cool water on a hot summer afternoon.

Freeport, Bahamas

Sister Fridays – The Early Edition

This Friday I will be cruising around the Bahamas so I will not be able to bring you Sister Fridays because I will be too distracted by tanning and drinks with a cute little umbrella in them.  I know, your heart is breaking for me.   Try not to suffer too much, as today is an extra-special Sister Friday:

Classiness. Its genetic.

My favorite part is the girl on the right who you can tell is so over the amount of ass grabbing she has seen from my sister and her friends.

Julie/Julia Movie

This isn’t a movie blog for the main reason that I consider Aladdin to be a cinematic masterpiece and no one would listen to me, but I just HAVE to write about the Julie/Julie movie.

And I think its applicable – young outer borough NY transplant works at a job in the day and seeks to take on a project to give her life passion and meaning. And writes about it. Then becomes famous and has a movie made about her starring a hot actress.

I’M SENSING A PARALLEL HERE, RIGHT?!

Anyway, this movie was completely enjoyable.  Meryl rocked it and I liked Julie’s character, even though the reviews were pretty hard on her.  The only thing I couldn’t possibly stand and was cringe-worthy, were the scenes where Julie’s husband eats.

Its like his mouth detaches from his body and molests whatever food he’s attempting to eat. Most of which ends up over his face.  But the movie references the fact that they’re not having sex, so I’m sensing overcompensation.

Where I wake up at 3AM thinking “What have I done?”

Internet, I have done it.  I have started to tease my hair, wear lycra, stick zebra press-on nails and drink ginny juice (Thank you, Clinton Social for giving me a reason to say ginny above a whisper).  I have started to say “shore” instead of “sure,” “yo muddah” instead of “How’s yer mama?” and”forgeddaboutit” instead of “let’s move on from this indefinable subject.”

I have moved to New Jersey.

There are no scarier words that can strike the heart of  a (pending) New Yorker.

After a incredibly painless move (thanks to endless to-do lists at 3AM), we were finishing bringing boxes into my bedroom and the front door was left open.

Suddenly, a neighbor’s adorable little yorkie popped into my room and started excitedly sniffing around.

If that’s not an auspicious sign, I don’t know what is.

Hoboken Candy Shop

Thank you, New Jersey

Dear New Jersey,

Today, I would like to thank you for fulfilling every single stereotype possible about the Garden State.  Corrupt politicians, including my own soon-to-be mayor of Hoboken, being hauled off in cuffs for funding organized crime – better than fiction! Can’t make that stuff up!

Can't make up crazy!

Central Park

Its wonderful to live so close to Central Park. I am enjoying it before I move to New Jersey and have only press-on leopard nails and teased hair to entertain me.

Stalking this adorable couple

Man blowing bubbles

Boats in the Pond

Ducks found their own little island

The Florida Funk

I just came back from a family vacation in Florida and you know what that means:

The 2-week period of adjustment back to life I call “The Florida Funk.”

When I go home, I realize how much of my family’s life I am missing out on by living 1,100 miles away.  The most ironic lesson of my life so far: I moved away and discovered what matters most is family.

I miss my Mom’s enthusiasm for life.  I even miss how she practices her kickboxing routine in the middle of stores whenever “I Know You Want Me” by Pitbull-Call Ocho comes on.

She even does a good Lady Gaga

She loves us so much.   I feel so guilty for not being able to be there for the day-to-day stuff of life and correct her for dancing in public.

I realize too that I am missing out on seeing my sister build her own path and starting real adulthood (it will be a sad day when her hair color darkens to a more appropriate blond).  And my little brother is becoming a man and showly shedding his habits from childhood.  He is starting to pick up new, endearing habits, like sitting with his crazy sisters at a bar to protect them even though he doesn’t drink.

Are these little intense visits enough to sustain a close relationship?  Are the moments we share and connect enough to last another 6 months?   I feel often I am “playing” big sister without the responsibility, and each time I visit, we spend half the time adjusting to me being there now.  The more I live in New York, the more surreal my trips home become.

Sister Friday

This is my sister’s hair (and some dude who is entranced):

Which of the following is most similar to my sister’s hair:

Kendra Wilkinson

Nah, I think we can do a little better:

Heidi Pratt

No, I think there’s something more similar to that particular shade of blonde:

A Golden Retriever

BUT WAIT!  I think I have finally found the best shade of freakishly white:

My sister, in 70 years